Fascinating new research could possibly shed light on one of the most widely debated topics of the Kingdom of Sedonia, the matter of the Housefly. Triggered by outrage of a housefly falling into the flavored drink of the visiting American president at the Sedonian Royal Home, rumors have been widespread of a government-funded extermination of the beloved house fly, which has long been a massively revered symbol, with golden busts of the housefly a symbol of temple prestige. Massive protests and violence and burning busts of the leading scientists have gathered international interest in our Kingdom of Sedonia.
But is Sedonia merely an unhygienic state, as the world is claiming, or do we have a contribution far greater than science itself? This article means to find out and reveal astounding conclusive evidence never seen before.
For ages, the common housefly or the Musca Domestica has been the singular symbol of prosperity in Sedonia. Common sense and age-old wisdom says that the sheer numbers of the house fly buzzing around the city’s many gutters can give the country a better measure of the country’s prosperity than even GDP, with the latter already turning into a flawed financial metric and a lesson to avoid blind Western Imitation (as per leading Financalists).
Yes, the Scientific community and Sedonia’s health board has been feverish in its baseless demand for large-scale extermination of these Juice lovers, who often dive athletically like champion swimmers into your glass of Mirinda, and then rise out of it as if from the dead after a sip of flavored tonic. Sedonian wisdom forbids the killing of the housefly, and often encourages the housefly to take a dip before many religious ceremonies including the first drink of a suckling infant.
Sedonites have been fascinated by this symbol of reincarnation, elevating it to the status of a family relative, often a distant cousin twice removed who has an unnerving way of appearing exactly when we fall into money. The scientists meanwhile claim that the Housefly is the leading cause of fruit plague, a disease that convinces a person that he is actually a fruit, most generally a banana. But scientists have not been able to provide conclusive evidence to corroborate this. However, this claim and Fruit Plague is concerning one to the Sedonian Population, with the Fruit Plague being widespread and ruthless, not even sparing the the Sedonian Prince and heir to the throne. As per unofficial and anonymous royal sources, the prince’s refusal to marry and produce the necessary heir was because he had not found a suitable strawberry, along with very suspicious rise in strawberry imports. The disease is the nation’s leading problem, and a well-researched solution no doubt essential.
As protests continue feverishly across the country, the research wing of Seditious Times took it upon itself to find the truth for the nation. In this exclusive edition, for the first time in our country’s history, Seditious Times presents well-researched studies regarding the true nature of the Overly Common House Fly and its possible divinity, and what has been discovered is astounding.
Proof has been unveiled that many studies have been almost burnt by the scientific community and saved only by the timely intervention of a patriotic Seditian. The hidden study revealed that if a Housefly managed to dive and unfortunately die before extricating itself from the juice, a second dip of the dead housefly can remove all traces of fruit-plague causing virus. In nature’s own surprising way, only one of the wings of the housefly contains the plague virus, while the other wing contains an immediate cure and also many nutritional benefits, long life, delayed ageing, and a capacity to eat cheese without gaining significant weight, to name a few.
The information has left the reporters at Seditious times aghast, and no stone will be left unturned to ensure that every Sedonian gets the truth this beautiful country deserves. While modern science has its many benefits, it is merely human, and must finally bows down to tradition and the ancient wisdom of Sedinism. May the Seditious Prince find his Sweet Strawberry. Jai Musca Domestica.