Whatsapp Chat: When you hate his friends

Disclaimer: Not Family-Friendly. Disturbing/Explicit content.

Babe…you online?


Sorry, these friends kept me. 

And? They gone now? 

Yup. I killed them. It’s just you and me now, love.

For selfish reasons, I am sure.

Now, come on. Don’t be mean. For you. Always for you. 

What d’you do with the bodies?

For now, I’ve kept it in the cupboard. I’ve got one of those grand walk-in closets where you can keep your stilettos. I use it as a sex dungeon. But i think I’ll dump them in the lake later. That lake’s always throwing up bodies anyway. Just last week, they were hunting for seven missing kids there.

You’re not being serious.

Sure, I am! They let out all the water. And the week before that, someone got murdered there. The damn security woman locked us out. Missed the sunsets for a whole week. 

I didn’t know it was such a dangerous neighbourhood. I can’t believe you’ve been calling me over to some bachelor shithole.

No No…its prime location. Spice garden, I tell you. We even have a Cult fitness where you can go and work out that sexy ass of yours. It’s just the lake attracts idiots. But that’s a small compromise for such a marvellous body of water. And it has a kiddie section …I mean that doesn’t scream safe, I don’t know what.

Well, it’s got you.

(Chuckles) That it does. And you’re not safe from me.

What about birds?

Oh yes. You can get your binoculars. Do you birding thing. And maybe later, we can even check out the neighbourhood together.

I wish you wouldn’t be gross this way. 

Don’t shy. I know you’re a peeper.

Not with your yucky neighbours. Especially the ones with children. 

Oh, no. There’s a lovely couple across ..two twisted ass men..toned as fuck….they’ve got a sex swing and they are at it all day.

I don’t wanna see that.

Then there’s the girl with the dildo and a bathtub. And a lovely butterfly tattoo right up her coccyx. You will love that, my poochie.

You even know what a coccyx is?

I know about it. Especially your coccyx. I have been dreaming of it all day.  Drooling over that pic you sent me.

Wait, that’s a self-destruct pic. Did you screenshot it?   If you did, I’m gonna beat the shit out of your coccyx, I will.

Babe, I just beat the crap out of two coccyx, and I tell you, it’s not easy. But I did it for you, sweets.

Stop showing off. Its lurid. And I don’t think you’d kill a cockroach for me.

Babe. Don’t taunt. It burns.

Fine. But I just think you are a load of shit.

I think you just want me to prove shit. 

And why would I want that? I don’t give a fuck.

You are insecure. And what me to show you I care for you. And I’ll be damned if I do. I’ll be damned if I let a bitch get into my head.

Yeah. cos you don’t care shit for me.

I just killed two of my friends for you.

Maybe you weren’t close.

I smoked joints with one of them since I was 17. Had my first drink with the other one.  He even owed me some cash.

And you killed him.  And now you are going to dunk him in your stinky kiddie pool. Who knows what you’d do to me.

Ok. What’s up with you today?  You’re being difficult. Is it because I didn’t check the phone all day? I told you I had friends over.

It’s always about your friends. It’s always always about your friends. It’s all you bloody care about. And I have to sit here, waiting around, just waiting for you to come online. I am sick of it all. I can’t remember the last time I met you. 

That’s because you never come over to my place.  Listen, I have a plan. And you don’t even have to come home.  I take you to the lake with me tonight.

The lake with the fucking ghost of seven kids.

No ghost will get you when I’m with you. And don’t distract me. I’m being romantic.

Ok, this I gotta see….

The moon’s not gonna be out tonight. So its gonna be dark and creepy and sexy. Nobody’s gonna see us. And I know how you love water.  Bring on skimpy whites, hon.  And take that dip. And listen to the horny birds chirping at you.  Skinny dip, if you like. 

Uh-huh. And where are you gonna be when I’m dipping?


Cos its sounded like I’m dipping my shit alone.

Babe…I’ll be watching you. Clicking some pictures of the gorgeousness you are and lusting after you. 

So you won’t be entering the lake with me…

Of course! How can I resist that. Then I enter the lake….and drag you out to the shore by your hair, and tie you to the tree….

Hmm…go on.

To two trees actually….you like that. your hands, your legs….spreadeagled, and im going to leave you there a bit….


So that you get terrified.  Get shit scared and screaming for me, trembling in my arms. Cos someone could come and do something to you.

Like the seven ghosts of the children….

Enough with the ghosts, babe. I meant the security guard. Or some pervert.

You are up to something. I can sense it.

Babe, you’re being bitchy again. Torturing me. And not in the fun way.

Just tell me the damn truth.  What are you planning to do after you tie me up.  And mister…you better not lie to me.

(stutters…) Well…I told you it’s a dark night. (whines) And I thought I could get some business done on the side.

What business?

You know..just….dispose of the bodies……….I’d be back in a jiff.  Even before anyone gets to you.. I mean… I hope you are shit scared and screaming by the time I come and kissing me in the very relief. So hot, that is. But I mean…before anyone really gets to you, I’ll be back. I promise.

So you wanna bring your friends on the one night you agree to spend with me.

My dead friends. The ones that I killed for you, babe!

Don’t you babe me. I never want to see you again. I hope you die with your friends.


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