Despite(/Because of) my privileged life and education, I consider myself very environmentally-aware….mostly because my office cafeteria has segregated waste (and 40% of the time I manage to toss my waste in the right bin)

But today, when I visited my designer bathroom, I noticed something….terrible…sinister…oh so horrible….

It was the plastic bottles.

The bottles were all huddled together as if trapped in Plastic Hell or Jail. The conditioner with the shampoo…conditioner with the conditioner…shampoo with the shampoo….oh….such abhorrence…right under my nose!

What was the point of picking all that trash from the Himalayas when I was number one originator of it all?

As a consequence of this, I suffered a huge dose of guilt…and broke into tears a bit later (scene oncoming)…and I could only resolve this giant vacuum in my heart and soul by spending money….and this I did immediately. 1445 rupees at Bare Necessities…..An organization dedicated to Zero Waste…from where I immediately procured a baby-safe laundry Detergent, Lemongrass Dish-washing Detergent and Peppermint Party Toothpaste (cos even at parties, one needs toothpaste).

After spending said money, I finally came to my senses. Could it be that a zero-waste transition is this costly? Is there a cheaper alternative? (Hint: Such lame-ass foreshadowing usually indicates that there is…most likely very nearby….and reason enough to break down into literal tears.)

The silver lining (for those into that kind of corny stuff), was that I discovered my friendly neighborhood HSR based organic store, where in I discovered among many other things…Rustic Art Menstrual Cups….and for some reason…I decided to launch myself onto social media holding the thing…as if I were the poster girl….even put on some lipstick for it…(after which I wondered how terribly environmentally whatever that was….I’m ruined….sob sob….)

Anyway, minutes later, without even reading the documentation or watching YouTube videos, I folded the thingy and shoved it up inside myself.

It disappeared into oblivion a bit too quickly. And I panicked. Big-time, and started scrambling up searching for it as if it were the holy grail. Is it supposed to go that high up? I was standing and staring up myself wondering if a doctor will be necessary to pull the damn thing out. Shit, I should have read. It was an ‘importance of documentation’ moment.

After much frantic flaying and huffing and puffing, I pulled it out with a whoosh…and sat down to read the papers. Supposedly the damn thing needs to be sterilized (see…this is why i don’t read…).

Anyway, I’ve shoved it right back up now where it has been ever since (like two hours).

Good night peeps. I’m going to go and brush my teeth with tooth powder and my new 150 rupee bamboo toothbrush.