Such a Roach

I feel the disgust rise within me. When I see the Roach. It’s there everywhere. This insect. Work, Play, everywhere. The Roach. He looks like me, sometimes. He wants to be like me, I think. He’s trying, it seems, To make something good, For a while. But then I see, He’s a Roach. He prefers…

Why that Bimbo Smart

Bimbo is someone I have often seen at many work places.  Of course, she’s Indian, probably Punjabi, I dunno, long black locks of hair, luscious lips, and white skin, the works.  The kind of girl who is pretty because she firmly believes it and takes enough selfies to prove it.  Obviously, she’s no friend of…

Why Hell is an Alumni Group

So some lame-ass in my college class of 2004 has suddenly decided that it would be an awesome idea to find the phone numbers of 57 other class mates (two dead, may their souls rest in peace away from all social media) and form a WhatsApp group. The poor dear has convinced some of his…

Mr. Skeleton in the Closet

I opened my closet, expecting nothing surprising.  Just the same set of mismatched, undersized clothes I picked up hoping I’d grow thin some day without dieting or exercising. What I did not expect, was an anorexic version of a human being.   Well, not exactly anorexic, as starved.  Not actually starved, as dead.  And boney. …

Twenty-Five is a very attractive age

Twenty-five is a very attractive age. Bangalore Society is full of women, who of their own free choice, remained twenty-five for years. Take me for instance. I have been twenty-five ever since I arrived at the age of thirty, which was many years ago now. Frankly, this whole practice of age and its every increasing…

What Women Want….on their birthdays

The truth of the matter is that I don’t know what I want for my birthday. The truth of the matter is that I want you to find it out. Dip into my subconscious, read it like a book, and figure it out for me.  Until you do that, I’m going to pretend I actually…

The Public Rape of Salman Khan, and related rape humor

Let me begin with another inappropriate quote from George Carlin “People say you can’t joke about rape.  That rape is not funny.  I say, fuck you….I think it’s hilarious. I can prove it. Picture Porky Pig raping Daisy duck. See? And I know what men are gonna say…Daisy was asking for it.  She was coming…

My Envy – In All Honesty

You know what I can’t stand? Insufferable prick-writers who are probably describing say….an action scene…the two-faced son-of-a-gun who raped your wife and stole your life’s belongings while pretending to be your best friend is on the loose, and you chase him on one of those fancy-named sports cars, with a nine-inch revolver and a backup…

Transcendence for the Nympho

Warning:  Explicit Content As George Carlin would say, what’s with all these writers. Could you stop describing the damn clouds and get to the fucking. But it is kinda breezy. In a wistful way. The leaves gently quivering.   And really there is no fucking. There is actually a fucking ban. So its more like….making out…

Just Another Terrible Love Story

Let me tell you a story about love. The thing about love is that the lesser number of times you’ve had it, the more of an expert you seem to be. I don’t agree to this. Now, I should be the one to tell this story, cos I’ve fallen in and out of love so…

Fake ‘I love you’s

“What’s with this I love you business yaar. I’m done with it.   You say it when you pick up the phone, you say it when you slam the phone. And while we are at it, what’s with these phone conversations. I can’t take those anymore, either. Why must we talk on the phone everyday. I…

Diwali Grinch

I was the Diwali Grinch. The whole office is lit up. Everyone is in a damn sari. And as if to remind me that I am not in one, there is a sari strung up from the ceiling falling over my damn laptop…cos that’s the happy thing to do. And then I have people climbing…